Hey girls,
Recently a few of you have asked me to devote an article to all of you sassy singles out there. I did have a hard time coming up with a good topic to talk about, but one of my friends had the perfect question for me to address on here:
her: "Why is it that all the guys who come talk to me in bars are total creepers, and the cute ones I have my eyes on never come by to say hi?"
I told her to stop dressing up like Goldielocks when she goes out - it really does send the wrong message. Seriously though, I have been out with her a few times, and there seems to be a few recurring themes - things that many girls do which ultimately make their dating lives less successful:
1) Try to avoid jumping to conclusions
First off, YES, there are some seriously creepy dudes out there. However, most of the time I find that girls needlessly become overly defensive when approached by men, especially in social situations. The fact is, most guys do not have much of a clue on how to correctly approach women, even though we are all socially conditioned to expect men to make the first obvious move. As a guy, this is very scary indeed - you girls have the power to rip our self esteems to shreds with one cold stare, while we have to think of something witty to say without appearing too needy. In sum, guys who don't know what to say/do and who expect the worst will be EXTREMELY frightened. Extremely frightened guys also tend to be EXTREMELY awkward. So maybe that guy from last week who couldn't stop stuttering is actually great BF material. Too bad you gave him the cold shoulder.
2) Appear more welcoming
Now, I'm not sure if many of you follow the NFL, but have a look at the following image and tell me what you think:
Doesn't look like you'd want to mess with these guys, huh?
The thing is, this is exactly what most guys see when you are huddled around a small table with your 6 closest girlfriends. My good friend McDreamy (who's single-handedly convinced me that being in Engineering does not, in fact, mean that you have zero game) tells me that he will absolutely never approach a girl if she's glued to her girlfriends like a wet piece of gum the whole night. If you want that cute guy in the corner to come talk to you without being too conspicuous, try this: turn in your seat, away from your friends, to FACE him, and make eye contact. After a minute or two of this, if he's got solid skills, he'll come over and chat you up. However, if you catch his eyes and he looks down and away, rest assured - he likes you but is too shy to do anything about it. Now's the time to prove that feminism isn't dead. Feel free to walk over and make his day ;)
Much love,
THM
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